The Dead Dog War Battlefield
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On the evening of July 3rd, 1999 XXII, covert forces from the United States crossed the Molossian Frontier without permission and buried a dead dog in sovereign Molossian territory. The peace-loving Molossian government responded to this dastardly assault initially with negotiation, to attempt to avoid all-out war. Negotiations failed, however, as the putrid corpse was not removed. Therefore, the Molossian Army was deployed to deal with this underhanded threat to our sovereignty. Siege was laid against our enemy, using our secret weapon, the ceaseless chatter of a hyperactive thirteen-year-old boy. After two weeks of conflict, the siege resulted in the capitulation of the enemies of Molossia. The dead dog, now considerably more decomposed than before the war, was removed. Some time later, reparations were made to Molossia, in the form of a wood garbage can holder. Today, the Dead Dog War Battlefield, and the new grave of The Dead Dog, just over the now-fenced Molossian Frontier, stand as a mute reminder of the horrors of war and of man's inhumanity to man. The Dead Dog War was an event that threatened the territory of Molossia by the United States. While not being a war in the strictest sense, due to a lack of direct armed conflict, it is nevertheless defined as such by Molossia because it represented a threat to our sovereignty, and was resolved by unconventional weapons and not purely by diplomacy. It may also be likened to the Cuban Missile Crisis, in that both sides stood firm, until the United States blinked, this time. |
 Mark Baugh, Hero of the Dead Dog War |
