Sultan Ali of Mustachistan |
BEGINNINGS Mustachistan was the tongue-in-cheek creation of an associate of His Excellency, The President of Molossia, who calls himself Sultan Ali-Ali Achsenfree. Sultan Ali founded his own nation not only to participate in the world of small nations, but also as a bit of competition for Molossia. The principal rivalry promised to be over land, since Mustachistan claimed a goodly part of the U.S. State of Nevada, in which Molossia lies. In March 2006 XXIX, following the creation of Mustachistan, relations between Molossia and that nation became increasingly strained, largely due to Mustachistani territorial claims. Though relations between His Excellency, The President and the Sultan of Mustachistan had been amicable in the past, the Sultan being a personal friend of The President, Sultan Ali had increasingly pressed his claim that Molossia lies within Mustachistani territory, and was therefore a part of that nation. The President countered with the argument that Molossia has existed at its current location for eight years and is a well-established small nation with a defined territory. Adding insult to this debate was the fact that His Excellency assisted Sultan Ali in the establishment of his nation and the creation of his website. Mustachistan would not exist without the aid of Molossia. A conference between the two leaders was planned to discuss the territorial dispute and hopefully reach a positive resolution through diplomacy. His Excellency, The President has ruled out any extreme measures, and held out hope for a peaceful and mutually beneficial solution. |
WAR IS DECLARED Effective 12:00 MST, 22 May 2006 XXIX, a state of war existed between Molossia and the nation of Mustachistan. Following the friction of the previous months and weeks, Mustachistan stated its intention to move its Army into a position along Sutro Creek, not far from the Molossian frontier. This action was of course unacceptable, and an affront to our sovereignty, as the location was just one Imperial Norton (1 km) from our borders. In turn, The President mobilized the Naval Infantry, with the aim of countering this threat to our national security. His Excellency ordered the Naval Infantry to deploy and intercept the Mustachistani Army in the field, and to hopefully deal it a decisive blow. A quick resolution to this conflict was desired, as peaceful relations is always the goal of our government when dealing with other nations. It was a sad state of affairs that this situation had escalated to this point, but our government held out hope that the matter could be resolved quickly and with minimal carnage. His Excellency, The President's Declaration of War Speech is here, and the talking movie short of His Excellency's speech is here. |
His Excellency, The President Giving His War Declaration |
(Vintage War Poster, Recycled for Our Use) |
THE WAR DEPARTMENT Shortly after a state of war officially existed between Molossia and Mustachistan, the Molossian War Office issued a few rules and reminders in order to safeguard the Molossian population, successfully prosecute the war, and bring victory to our great nation. Conservation at home was deemed to be very important; citizens urged to walk instead of driving to conserve fuel, conserve to avoid waste, especially food, find time for war work and buy Victory Bonds (see below). Molossians were reminded that their actions could help the war effort and our troops at the front, and played a large part in bringing them home safely. Communications were also very important to the war effort; Molossian were told to stay off the telephone and avoid sending unnecessary telegrams in order to keep the lines open for official communications. We were reminded that our frontiers were guarded expertly and efficiently by the Naval Infantry and not to interfere with their mission, and help them by being vigilant for enemy activity at all times. The War Office also reminds Molossian that loose talk can be dangerous to our soldiers and the war effort. Conversations about troop movements, war production and general military information were to be avoided. Even a little slip, the War Office told us, could be the piece of the puzzle that enemy spies needed to gain a picture of our military plans. Careless talk could have cost lives. Above, we were cautioned, victory in the field starts at home, and with us. |
THE EASTERN FRONT The Molossian Naval Infantry was slowed by weather in late May in its advance against Mustachistani forces. However, as events unfolded slowly in the west, the nascent Eastern Front exploded into activity with a battle on Lake Jean, in the Molossian Protectorate of New Antrim. Lake Jean had been the target of Mustachistani forces seeking not only to gain a foothold in New Antrim, but also to divert resources from the developing campaign near the Molossian Home Territories. Thus, the Molossian Naval Forces of New Antrim (The Atlantic Fleet) set out to repel the Mustachistani threat on Lake Jean. Mustachistani elements had moved to establish themselves on the lake, and Grand Admiral Hess immediately launched his fleet to repel the threat. The Atlantic Fleet consisted of two vessels, the Canoe-class "MS-3 Boomer" and the Kayak-class "MS-4 Old Towne", both vessels in excellent fighting trim and manned by three very able sailors. The "Boomer" served as the fleet flagship. The Mustachistanis launched two vessels in response, two Kayak-class boats, the "Dagger" and the "Corsica". Shortly after launching, the "Boomer", commanded by Grand Admiral Hess, landed on Middle Island in Lake Jean, before the Mustachistanis were even in the water. The "Old Towne", the other vessel, commanded by Grand Admiral Hess' brother, harried the Mustachistanis across the lake. Grand Admiral Hess stepped heroically onto Middle Island with the "Boomer's" XO and proceeded to help the "Old Towne" make landfall. Eventually, the Mustachistanis also made it to Middle Island and they were allowed to visit the newly conquered territory as a show of good sportsmanship. With Middle Island secured from the enemy, the Atlantic Fleet decided to take Big Jean Island before the Mustachistanis had a chance. Grand Admiral Hess set sail in the "Old Towne", allowing his XO to command the "Boomer" with his brother. This proved to be a near-disaster for the Atlantic Fleet. Due to the incompetence of the XO, the "Boomer" had some trouble getting off the shore of Middle Island. As a result, the two Mustachistani sailors in their vessels caught up to Grand Admiral Hess, alone in the "Old Towne", and a heated battle broke out between the three ships. At two against one, they were firing broadsides upon Grand Admiral Hess' vessel, and eventually succeeded in flipping him over with their oars. Grand Admiral Hess' years of naval training and coolness under fire served him well in this catastrophe. In spite of the cold water, he was able to stay above water by grasping onto his overturned kayak and waited in the deep water for the "Boomer" to come pick him up. The "Boomer" towed Grand Admiral Hess and his overturned vessel back to Middle Island where the fleet regrouped. Grand Admiral Hess resumed command of the flagship. They immediately set sail from Middle Island, and succeeded in landing on Big Jean Island in short order and ahead of the Mustachistanis. New Antrim's sovereignty of the two islands established, and control of the lake firmly in their hands, the fleet returned to shore, victorious. A great day for the Molossian Navy and New Antrim, and the first blow struck in the War Against Mustachistan! |
Lake Jean, New Antrim Grand Admiral Hess, Hero of the Battle of Lake Jean Map of the Battle of Lake Jean, Phase I Map of the Battle of Lake Jean, Phase II Map of the Battle of Lake Jean, Phase III Map of the Battle of Lake Jean, Phase IV |
The Naval Infantry Advances. The Mustachistanis Attack! The Molossians Shoot Back. The Molossians Charge! |
THE BATTLE OF BLACK LIZARD CANYON The Molossian Naval Infantry took to the field on 29 May 2006 XXIX, and moved to intercept the Army of Mustachistan, which had deployed along Sutro Creek in an area called Black Lizard Canyon, not far from the northern Molossian frontier. Marching through sagebrush and juniper trees and using the rocky terrain for cover, the Naval Infantry met with an ambush as Mustachistani forces attacked from a nearby ridge. The Molossian troops immediately sought cover and deployed a skirmish line along the bottom of the creek. The Mustachistanis quickly followed up their initial gains by advancing their line forward to within 100 meters of the Molossian positions. The two forces exchanged fire for a short period, before the brave Molossians mounted a charge. Their surprise assault pushed back the Mustachistanis, and they shortly broke and ran, leaving our Naval Infantry in command of the field. The Molossian commander chose not to pursue the retreating Mustachistanis, and instead established defensive fighting positions on the battlefield. Through this exchange, a single Molossian was injured in the arm while there was no word on Mustachistani casualties. Following the battle, scouting patrols were sent out to determine the location of the Mustachistani Army, and to thereby deal them a decisive blow on the battlefield that might end the war. The Silent Movie Newsreel of the Battle
|
THE BATTLE OF RATTLESNAKE RIFT On 4 June 2006 XXIX, the Molossian Naval Infantry met with and defeated the Army of Mustachistan in the Battle of Rattlesnake Rift, just one Imperial Norton (1 km) north of the Molossian frontier. Following the Mustachistani defeat at the Battle of Black Lizard Canyon, Mustachistani forces proved themselves to be elusive and difficult to engage in battle. Finally, on 3 June, Molossian scouts reported that the Mustachistani Army was in the vicinity of Mosquito Bend, along the Carson River. On 4 June, At 9:00 AM Molossian Standard Time (MST) Molossian troops launched a daring amphibious assault on the Mustachistani forces at Mosquito Bend. This surprise attack from the water quickly sent the Mustachistanis scurrying for cover, with our Naval Infantry in hot pursuit. At Rattlesnake Rift, a narrow defile near Heliotrope Falls, the Mustachistanis found themselves trapped, and chose to make a stand. Repeated Molossian volleys failed to dislodge the well-entrenched Mustachistanis, so the decision was made to flank them by moving Molossian troops to the rocks above the canyon. This plan necessitated a treacherous climb up a steep cliff, but our Naval Infantry tackled this obstacle without pause. Once atop the cliff, our troops were able fire down on the Mustachistanis with complete impunity, causing havoc among the Mustachistani ranks. This proved to be the undoing of the Mustachistanis and they quickly surrendered. There were several wounded and one dead among the Mustachistani forces, and the Naval Infantry sustained no casualties. The captured Mustachistanis were marched to Molossia and bivouacked under guard at the Alphonse Simms Memorial Broomball Field and Cosmodrome. It was presumed that this effectively ended the armed conflict phase of the war with Mustachistan, as their Army had surrendered and had ceased to exist. Negotiations were opened to discuss the formal cessation of hostilities. The Silent Movie Newsreel of the Battle
|
Molossian Amphibious Assault. Firing From Above. Molossian Charge. Captured Mustachistanis. |
Sultan Ali Signs the Treaty. Shaking Hands. Medals Awarded. The War Medal. |
PEACE WITH MUSTACHISTAN Effective 8 June 2006 XXIX, at 12:30 PM MST, a peace treaty was been signed between the Republic of Molossia and the nation of Mustachistan, agreeing to a complete cessation of hostilities and an end to the war between the two nations. In accordance with the treaty, Mustachistani troops, currently held under guard Alphonse Simms Memorial Broomball Field since the Battle of Rattlesnake Rift, were immediately repatriated to Mustachistan. Furthermore, Mustachistan agreed to relinquish all claims to Molossia, and respect Molossian rights to visit the Riverpark in Carson City. Finally, Mustachistan agreed to pay reparations in the form of Cookie Dough, one tube a month for six months. Molossia made no territorial demands of Mustachistan. This treaty formally ended the war with Mustachistan in favor of Molossia. However, His Excellency, The President of Molossia extended the hand of friendship toward Mustachistan, in the hope that a positive future relationship can emerge between our two nations. Once friends, the two adversaries put their enmity behind them, to move forward into a peaceful future. The Silent Movie Newsreel of the Peace Treaty Signing |
His Excellency, The President's Victory Speech My Follow Molossians, Greetings. On May 8th the peace treaty was signed, officially ending hostilities between Molossia and Mustachistan. Our two nations are now at peace, and a calm has finally settled across our region. We have fought a mighty conflict, one that has convulsed our tiny nation and been felt across the North American continent. Our enemies were clever and resourceful, but our nation proved to be even more so. The battle that they brought home to us was turned back against them and they felt the might of the Molossian nation in reprisal. In the end, our strength of arms and our national unity combined to bring victory and peace to Molossia. Now that peace is upon us, and before we return to our everyday lives, I remind you all that we must never forget those who sacrificed for our cause; we will always honor them and pay them the debt of gratitude they deserve. Great was the Molossian war effort and great was our victory. There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is a definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it. Molossia has this quality and it drove our nation to triumph I congratulate you on this celebration of peace and triumph of justice, this day that marks the victory of good over evil and of freedom over tyranny. This is a day of great honor for our nation. We are a great nation, and we have much of which to be proud. I thank you all for your sacrifices and commend you all for our achievements. Victory is ours! God bless you and long live Molossia! His Excellency, The President's Victory Speech can be heard here (1.38 MB Wav). |
His Excellency, The President of Molossia |
Grand Admiral Hess' Victory Speech. It is for us, both victors and vanquished, to rise to that higher dignity which alone befits the sacred purposes we are about to serve. It is my earnest hope and indeed the hope of all mankind, that from this solemn occasion a better world shall emerge out of the blood and carnage of the past, a world dedicated to the dignity of man and the fulfillment of his most cherished wish, for freedom, tolerance and justice. A new era is upon us. Even the lesson of victory itself brings with is profound concern both for our future security and the Molossian way of life. We have known the bitterness of defeat and the exhalation of triumph and from both we have learned there can be no turning back. We must go forward to preserve in peace what we have won is war. My fellow Molossians, today the guns are silent. A great tragedy has ended and a great victory has been won. Grand Admiral T. Daniel Hess Protector of New Antrim Grand Admiral Hess' Victory Speech can be heard here (230 KB Wav). |
Grand Admiral Hess of New Antrim |
Mustachistan War Battlefield Park. The sacrifices made by both Molossians and Mustachistanis in the war between our two nations have been commemorated in the creation of a new National Park, Mustachistan War National Battlefields Park. The park includes the area of the two battles fought, the Battle of Black Lizard Canyon, on 29 May 2006 XXIX and the Battle of Rattlesnake Rift, on 4 June 2006 XXIX. The new battlefield park provides the opportunity for visitors to explore the historic terrain where men fought and died for their countries in this mighty conflict. Though small in size, these two battles loom large in our nation's history, and the conflicts fought there shall not be forgotten. Visit the Mustachistan War National Battlefields Park webpage here. |
Rattlesnake Rift Battlefield |